I stopped at a Ralph’s Supermarket on the way back from the movies just now. As I was about to board the escalator out of the parking garage, I see a sign with a giant arrow pointing me around the corner instead. I follow the sign and find another escalator, this one leading down. At the bottom, I find the entrance to the store. So far, so good.
I purchase my items and walk back to the escalator. There is no up. It must be on the other side, I think. No, not there. I see that there’s an elevator at the far end, so I go there. A woman has entered just before me and has pushed her button. I go to do the same and understand none of what I see.
There’s an “R” near the bottom, a “B” at the top, an “ST” near the middle, and a few “L’s” with numbers next to them. I stare for a few seconds, perplexed. I see that the woman has pushed “ST.”
“Excuse me,” I say. “Is ‘ST’ one level up in the parking garage?”
“Yes,” she says. “Don’t worry. It took me like a year to figure this place out. You’d think that ‘B’ would be for ‘basement,’ and ‘R’ would be for ‘roof.’
“Well, what is ‘R?” I ask.
“‘R’ is for ‘Ralf’s’.”
“Oh! …Wait, then what’s ‘B’?”
“‘B’ is for ‘balcony’.”
The world makes less and less sense to me. Welcome, 2018. And thank you, kind stranger.
